Arlene Pellicane – Christian Speaker and Author

Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category

What a blast I had at Family Life Today!  Here I am with hosts Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine.  These men are down to earth, full of wisdom, and very funny!  If you’ve ever listened to Car Talk, these guys can go back and forth with each other like Click and Clack!

 

See, they like what I am saying about the book 31 Days to a Happy Husband

We talked about what the letters DREAM stand for in my book:

Domestic Tranquility

Respect

Eros

Attraction

Mutual Activities

Dennis asked me many questions like, “What does James think about that?”  so you’ll be hearing a lot about my own marriage during the radio program.  James and I were in the hot seat today! 

My interview is scheduled to air in September.  I will be sure to keep you posted.  I am so grateful for the opportunity to partner with FamilyLife Today to strengthen families – what an honor to be here today!

And then I got some icing on the cake.  The Lord encouraged me to keep at it in writing when I passed by the Little Rock Airport bookstore and saw my title 31 Days to a Younger You on the shelf!   What a sweet last image as I prepare to fly out.

One of my discoveries this year is a great website called CWIVES.  Your husband will love what that acronym stands for:  Christian Wives Initiating, Valuing and Enjoying Sex. 

The site’s founder, Dr. Jennifer Degler, is a clinical psychologist, life coach, and co-author of, No More Christian Nice Girl: How Just Being Nice – Instead of Good – Hurts You, Your Family, and Your Friends.  Her website is a wonderful resource to help you have better sex with your husband. 

I am delighted to be featured on her blog today – but I think James is even more delighted – ha!

Hop over to CWIVES to find out how you can make more time for love even with young kids in the house. 

This is how I will always remember my childhood pastor, Glen D. Cole:

Arms open wide – loving every person who came his way

Eyes sparkling – full of vision, purpose, and clarity

Passionately preaching – delivering uncompromising messages from God’s Word

Pastor Cole died unexpectedly on Valentines Day.  I was blessed to have interviewed him just months before his death about his amazing marriage of 58 years.  He and his wife Mary Ann have remained honeymooners after all this time, and I wanted to find out their secret!  His wonderful insights are found in my book 31 Days to a Happy Husband (summer 2012).

But before then, you can listen to the interview here on my podcast.  Our culture needs a sound voice like Pastor Cole’s about the real priorities of married life.  We also need to know how to make marriage fun.  It’s not supposed to be a drudgery!

Pastor Cole knew how to create fun moments all along the way.  Like the time he took Mary Ann to the Eiffel Tower to celebrate their 58th wedding anniversary.  Isn’t it amazing that God had that all planned out – to make such a lifetime memory – before Pastor Cole’s homegoing to heaven?

If you want to enjoy your married life and head towards to Eiffel Tower to celebrate your 20th, 30th, 40th or 50th anniversary, listen to Pastor Cole’s wisdom here. 

Let’s all have something wonderful to dream about always in front of us…and live life to the fullest for God’s glory as Pastor Cole did.

Okay, let’s be honest here.  When your child asks you to do something, you usually get to it as quickly as possible.  If my daughter says, “Mom, can you help me tie my laces?” I’m there in under a minute, bowing down at my daughter’s feet, tying away.

If my husband asks me to do something, my response time is considerably slower.  But I’m working on that.

Pictured above is James with the kids holding our afterschool Sonshine Bible Club flyers.  When James asked me to proof the flyer, I said, “Okay, I’ll get to that dear.”

Did I drop everything and grab the paper to read over?  Not really.

Am I saying that whenever your husband asks for something, you have to drop everything immediately to help him out?  Not really.

What I am saying is that our disposition towards our husbands during the day should be, “How can I help you dear?”  When we remember that it’s our God given honor to help our husbands, it changes the way we respond to them.

Instead of sighing when they ask you to pick up the dry cleaning, pay a bill, or cook a favorite dish, we say, “I’d be happy to!”

Our society talks about acts of random kindness – and there’s certainly nothing wrong with those.  But what about random acts of kindness for our husbands?  A cup of cold water brought up to his desk.  His favorite meal waiting for him at dinnertime.  A love note waiting for him in the drivers seat of the car.

What’s a small way you can show your husband you care today?

 

I began by calling this post “My Last Great Date” but that didn’t sound so good.

My most recent great date happened about 2 weeks ago.  I heard an advertisement on the radio that the stage adaptation of The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis was coming to my hometown of San Diego.  James loves audiobooks and was listening to The Screwtape Letters just a few months ago.

Tickets to the play would be perfect.

To surprise him with tickets would be even better!

Finally I had a date idea that would be fun for both of us and something special to remember.  I googled “Screwtape on Stage + discount” and it brought me to a coupon code for $10 off.  Better still!

It was so fun driving downtown to our surprise destination.  He was happily surprised, he had great seats, and thoroughly enjoyed the show.

Afterwards, we ate at Panda Inn, a nice Chinese restaurant (I’m sure you didn’t think it was Italian by the name!).  It brought back memories because the last time we had dined there was several years ago when we were entertaining one of James’ college friends.

We sat in a little table for two, talked about the play, laughed, and ate – it really felt like “date night!”

It’s so fun to look forward to a date…do you have a date night on the calendar?

If so, what are you doing?

If not, what’s keeping you from planning one?

Happy Valentine’s Day friends!  Hope this will be a special day to give and receive love from the people who matter most to you in life.

Women tend to connect through talking, and men tend to connect through touching.  It’s how many of us are wired.  If you’re married, one main way to show your love is through physical touch.  So to help you physically connect with your husband today and the rest of the days of the year, I have a wonderful resource for you.  It’s a website called CWIVES which stands for “Christian Wives Initiating, Valuing, and Enjoying Sex!” 

Ask your hubby if he likes that acronym! 

CWIVES founder, Jennifer Degler, Ph.D. is a Christian clinical psychologist and life coach.  I think she is brilliant!  She has a monthly dare she sends out that I’m sure your husband would appreciate very much.  Maybe you can sign up for the free monthly dare and let your husband know you’ve done it.  It’s a gift he’ll enjoy receiving throughout the year and so will you!

Remember when your stomach did flips when your beloved walked into the room?

Remember when you changed outfits because nothing looked quite right for that special date?

Remember smelling his cologne in a store and being magically transported to la-la land?

February is a great month to set our sights on our husbands.  It’s too easy to allow our husbands to become like wallpaper in our lives.  Always there.  Not given much attention.

No more!  This month, let’s lavish love on our men. 

In my book 31 Days to a Happy Husband (August 2012), you’ll find 25 free or cheap date ideas provided by my friends Bob & Jana (four kids later, they’re still GREAT at dating!).  Here’s five ideas to get you started in your romance planning: 

1. Let’s take a spin to our old apartment and reminisce about our newlywed days.

2.  Scavenger Hunt:  We’ll each think of five random things to be found at the park or shopping center.  We have to take a picture of us with the item.

3.  Barnes and Noble Night.

4.  Let’s take a new hike in a new location. 

5.  Conversation questions by candlelight.

Block out two spots on your calendar:  one for your Valentine’s Day date and another one for a “just because I love you” date. 

By the way, these dates work if you’re single and dating too.  Just turn date #1 into a “dream about the future” date – driving to where you’d like to live one day.  That could begin an interesting conversation for sure!  

It doesn’t take a lot of money to make a special memory.  The specialness comes in when your beloved looks in your eyes and sees that you are all his forever.  No looking back, no regrets.


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