Arlene Pellicane – Christian Speaker and Author

Archive for February 2012

My husband has given me a great piece of advice.

Well, he’s actually given me many pieces of advice, but today I’m just going to share one.

A few weeks ago, my childhood friend who lives about 8 hours away was in my city for a wedding.  Time was short but we could squeeze in a quick lunch.  Without hesitation, James said, “You’ve got to go.  It’s so important to stay in touch with old friends.”

I went and had a great time catching up with my best friend from high school.

Today James is driving 4 hours round trip to have a cup of coffee with an old college friend of his.  The friend lives out of state and it’s been a few years since they’ve been able to connect.

He’s making the right choice.  He won’t regret catching up with an old friend.

My practical self can get too focused on time.

Oh, I don’t have time for that.  I couldn’t drive 4 hours just to have 1 hour with a friend.

But if that was the case, I would really miss out on something important.  Lifetime friends are few and very precious.

Do you have a friend coming into town?  Make every effort to see him or her.

Are you going to be traveling close to an old friend anytime soon?  Make every effort to have a meal or coffee together.

The years come and go.  There will always be something pressing to do.  But the memories that fill our photo albums are those shared with family and friends.

Here’s Lucy with her dear friends, Violet (the purple dog) and Cupcake (who she called Pancake for a spell).  Lucy doesn’t let a day go by without hugging her friends.  Maybe I could learn a lesson from her too!

Are you enjoying your present stage in life?

Earlier this month, I had the blahs for a few days.  I felt discouraged about the daily demands of caring for young kids.  My 2 year old Lucy has learned how to say NO! with great conviction and she was wearing me down.  Parenting toddlers is not for the faint of heart.

What helped me break out of my funk? 

Confessing my discouragement to my husband.  Oh, it feels so good to talk about the things that weigh on our hearts. 

Listening to Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah Guess what he was talking about?  Slaying the giant of discouragement!

Praising God by singing and reading and thinking about the Bible.  I’m reading in I Samuel right now and David’s life was no picnic either. 

I realized once again that this present stage of life is a tremendous gift.  Although young kids need extra TLC, they are also extra adorable at this age and stage!  (Just look above for proof)

Dwell on God’s lovingkindness in the morning and His faithfulness at night.  And you’ll find the stage you’re in is just right. 

Happy Valentine’s Day friends!  Hope this will be a special day to give and receive love from the people who matter most to you in life.

Women tend to connect through talking, and men tend to connect through touching.  It’s how many of us are wired.  If you’re married, one main way to show your love is through physical touch.  So to help you physically connect with your husband today and the rest of the days of the year, I have a wonderful resource for you.  It’s a website called CWIVES which stands for “Christian Wives Initiating, Valuing, and Enjoying Sex!” 

Ask your hubby if he likes that acronym! 

CWIVES founder, Jennifer Degler, Ph.D. is a Christian clinical psychologist and life coach.  I think she is brilliant!  She has a monthly dare she sends out that I’m sure your husband would appreciate very much.  Maybe you can sign up for the free monthly dare and let your husband know you’ve done it.  It’s a gift he’ll enjoy receiving throughout the year and so will you!

I’m working through my books to read in 2012 and loving it so far.  Finished Quitter by Jon Acuff about closing the gap between your day job and your dream job. 

Acuff is just plain funny.  I read the entire book over one weekend when I was traveling to speak in Northern California.  Since I was traveling without children, I had hours to read in the airport and plane.  The book really spoke to me because Jon Acuff wanted to quit his day job to become a speaker and author.  I could certainly relate to that! 

What I found refreshing about the book is the way Acuff  was honest about the challenges of following your dream job.  He didn’t sugar coat that experience – reminding everyone that being a broke dreamer with health, grocery, and insurance bills, a mortgage and car payment, and a financially strained marriage is no picnic.  Be smart about staying in your day job and doing your best there to launch eventually into the job you long for. 

Acuff writes, Anyone can dream; it’s the doing that is such a hassle. 

The doing Acuff describes is hustling.  How much do you hustle for your dream job?  Do you just pine away about it or are you active in your spare time to hone your skills, broaden your network, practice your craft? 

Since reading the book, I’ve been thinking “hustle.”  When I have my 1.5 hour window in the day while Lucy is sleeping, I think HUSTLE!  Get the blog done, answer emails, work on talks, HUSTLE!  Instead of being discouraged by all I can’t seem to accomplish, I’m focusing on hustling on a few tasks at a time. 

Another thing he said was to enjoy being invisible.  On your way to your dream job, don’t despise small beginnings.  Be grateful for them.  They are necessary.  You can make mistakes while being invisible.  If you were the big cheese you’re dreaming of right now – but without the necessary experience – you’d probably fall hard and fall publicly.  Enjoy the stage of being invisible, under the radar. 

Lastly, I liked what he said about recovering your dreams instead of discovering your dreams.  Instead of laying awake at night asking, “What was I made for?” ask yourself, “When have I felt most alive?  What have I really enjoyed doing in my life?”  Ever since I was in junior high, I loved public speaking.  Now 25 years later, I’m recovering those childhood dreams and speaking. 

If you want to recover some of your dreams and explore moving towards a dream job, Quitter is a great read!

Remember when your stomach did flips when your beloved walked into the room?

Remember when you changed outfits because nothing looked quite right for that special date?

Remember smelling his cologne in a store and being magically transported to la-la land?

February is a great month to set our sights on our husbands.  It’s too easy to allow our husbands to become like wallpaper in our lives.  Always there.  Not given much attention.

No more!  This month, let’s lavish love on our men. 

In my book 31 Days to a Happy Husband (August 2012), you’ll find 25 free or cheap date ideas provided by my friends Bob & Jana (four kids later, they’re still GREAT at dating!).  Here’s five ideas to get you started in your romance planning: 

1. Let’s take a spin to our old apartment and reminisce about our newlywed days.

2.  Scavenger Hunt:  We’ll each think of five random things to be found at the park or shopping center.  We have to take a picture of us with the item.

3.  Barnes and Noble Night.

4.  Let’s take a new hike in a new location. 

5.  Conversation questions by candlelight.

Block out two spots on your calendar:  one for your Valentine’s Day date and another one for a “just because I love you” date. 

By the way, these dates work if you’re single and dating too.  Just turn date #1 into a “dream about the future” date – driving to where you’d like to live one day.  That could begin an interesting conversation for sure!  

It doesn’t take a lot of money to make a special memory.  The specialness comes in when your beloved looks in your eyes and sees that you are all his forever.  No looking back, no regrets.

Part of staying young is having an “I can hardly wait…” to look forward to.

Well, for the past year, my husband has been working to have an afterschool Bible club at our kids public school.  Thankfully the district approved the request and last month, we began our school’s first ever Bible club on Friday afternoons for one hour!  The club is called Sonshine Haven.  We are their 41st school in San Diego! 

We weren’t sure what to expect at the first meeting.  We knew our kids would be there, plus our team of five adult volunteers, so that makes 7.  Imagine our delight when kid after kid streamed in to be a part of the Sonshine Haven Club!  24 kids! 

Here they are putting together the memory verse from John 3:16.  More than half of the kids don’t go to church or own Bibles, so it’s particularly a joy to share the good news that God loves them.  We use songs, games, memory verses, and interactive, funny Bible lessons. 

Being part of the club has revived me personally.  When I hear that a child is interested in getting a Bible or knowing more about God, I am so honored to be part of this work of God on our campus. 

If you live in San Diego and are interested in starting a Bible club at your public elementary school or junior high, check out the Sonshine Haven website.  Twenty years ago, Mari Rothman was confronted with the spiritual needs of children in public schools.  Sonshine Haven was born.  Now the clubs meet in nine districts with 41 clubs and growing! 


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